Splurch Academy for Disruptive Boys

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dangerous Reading

On today's menu at Splurch Academy: live octopus, if you can catch it, with a side of cabbage salad. Thank you, Griselda.

The chroniclers of Cody Mack's exploits at Splurch Academy for Disruptive Boys would like you to know that it isn't all fun and games around here. We toil, we sweat, we create piles of erasures and we think large thoughts. Just today, our fearless research into Book Four, as yet untitled but 99% certain to contain the word "Squid" in its name, led us into the blood-chilling depths of the prehistoric deep. We learned that female anglerfish are clustered with parasitic male anglerfish, who have no means of living or eating on their own, and can only survive long enough to find a female and bite on for dear life. Eventually the male is digested and assimilated into the female's body. We refer you that honey of a photo, above.

We furthermore studied several of the great aquatic reptiles and of the cretaceous era, and the massive sharks of bygone prehistoric days, the likes of which make today's great whites look like bandminton-playing grannies by comparison. So never accuse us of not hefting our fair share of mental anguish in pursuit of great literature. We've done actual internet research. Our commission is a hefty one, but here at Splurch Academy, we shirk not from the task.

Bon appetit.